Journal Entry No. 01: Things that make me feel good
How I'm Rebuilding My Energy After a Hard Winter.
Winter stayed longer than I expected it to this year.
Not just in the weather, but in me. I know myself well enough to know I'm someone who feels the seasons in my body. Seasonal sadness is a real thing, and I've stopped pretending I'm immune to it. This past winter was heavy. Quieter than I wanted. Harder to move through than I let on.
But something shifted. Not all at once. More like small things started finding me. Or maybe I started finding them.
It started with a red light in my shower. Strange thing to credit, but here we are. I added a red light bulb and something about it resets me. Literally. My nervous system slows down. The whole morning changes shape. I don't fully understand the science of it and right now I don't need to. I just know I feel different walking out than I did walking in.
Then there's the scent of citronella. Clean, bright, a little green. I've always been someone who responds to scent, but I underestimated it as a mood tool. A few drops in my diffuser, just a moment of it in the air. Instant shift. Instant return to myself.
I bought a milk maker last month and recently discovered it also makes juice. Now every morning I'm making green juice and I genuinely look forward to it. Knowing I'm putting something good in my body, something that came straight from the earth, before the day has asked a single thing of me. That matters.
Cooking dinner has become the same kind of thing. I've been making gourmet anti-inflammatory meals, taking my time with it, choosing ingredients that are actually good for this body I live in. It doesn't always come out perfect. That's not really the point.
And then there's my MaxTrainer. I've had it for years. Years. For most of that time it did what neglected equipment does best, it collected dust. I'd hop on it every few months, push too hard too fast, burn out before it became anything real, and walk away again. This time I started at 8 minutes. Just 8. No performance, no pressure. I'm adding time each week and that's the whole plan. The bar is low on purpose and that's exactly why it's working.
What I'm realizing is that none of these things are grand. They're not life overhauls. They're not the kind of habits that belong on a vision board or in a morning routine infographic. They're just small, specific things that happen to be mine.
And I think that's where I got confused for a while. Looking for the right way to feel better instead of looking for my way. The red light. The citronella. The 8 minutes. They work because I chose them. Not because someone told me to.
I'm not fully back. But I think I'm remembering what it feels like to want to be.
If this resonated, the Weekly Reset is free and it might be exactly what you need right now.
